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    Wednesday, 27 September 2017

    Body Shaming _An analytical critique_

    This seems to be a familiar phrase which knowledge about is acquiescence. Let's journey!
    Body;an entire physical structure of an organism.
    Shame;dishonor, disgrace, attaint
    Body shaming simply the act of causing dishonor or shame to someone physical structure.
    Body shaming  is the order of the day  as it had became ineluctable at work,school, car park and so on.

    You might actually think it doesn't affect  so much when a stranger utter those stone words but it cause more of emotional trauma when you hear it from a close friend or colleagues.
    Body shaming is a canker work eating up people's heart more than cancer and also limiting people of who they are.
    Why are you this fat, you must be a foodie!
    You have no shape at all!
    If you seat on my bike the tire might burst.!
    I'm not sitting with that heavy load (human being )at the back!
    And so on,

    Are statement we come across every now and then.
    The moment we see someone fatter than us or slimmer, or probably big eye or any of our supposed extra or under growth of their body system, we start tagging them with names make jest of them, turn them to laughing stock.. Unknowingly killing their vibes, limiting their participation and limiting some of their dreams.

    I came across something on social media of recent tagged with a Slender lady's picture,the caption thus;
    Dogs eat bones, Real men take meat
    Invariably body shaming the slender lady.
    Our body might not mostly depend on malnutrition or malnutrition, as much as we preach against obesity and stuff, we should also consider the natural one's.
    Our bodies are unique for us that is why it is ours, but body shaming continues....
    If you are still reading this, I would wanna inform you that the world is so cruel and people are so nervous,  no matter hundreds of article against body shaming, it can't be restricted by some people.

    Then the solutions lies in us not those who body shame us.
    Firstly, Develop an unwieldy love and perspective about yourself, I tell you, you need to be selfish loving yourself, look at the mirror and say I am beautiful ! I am wonderfully made!
    No one can love a weakling who already disgust him/herself.
    One of my sister's quote was

    There is no perfect beauty, Our imperfections makes us beautiful and unique
    You need the right self esteem to flaunt your body and that is why you are you.
    Self esteem only won't do until you pick strength from that supposed flaw.
    One way I and knew people used to conquer body shaming  is making fun out of it.  When you already say I had a big bad ass, what more can be so painful.
    Dupe was one with a big ass back in those days the moment she start talking to you, she'd tell you ,I have a very big ass which keeps guys turning around to have a look than those skinny girls with flat ones, that's my asset she'd say.... Sure you laughed... She was nicknamed Dupe Asset..

    What more harm can you cause her when she already told you she had big ass.
    When people say I have big eyes , I tell them because I had to see brighter for long that's why we don't have sight problem in our family.
    When people call me short man, I tell them if you are too tall in my family then you are a bastard.

    And when you say I walk like a girl or behave like a girl sometimes, I'd tell you I am so much like my mom, we look so much alike and I inherited her gene and I am a get - inside guy with dominating females siblings.
    They always laugh because I always have a reply for every part of my body, I picked the strength in them
    So by standing tall on the rock of the believe about yourself no one can control you either.
    People would keep on complaining about your weight, your color, how slender you look, how sluggish you walk... Even people close to you.
    You are in the best position to avert any danger of such body shaming. It all lies within you.
    People won't stop talking, they are too nervous about new and unique things
    You have to select whether to accept them or avert them.

    There are more to you than you look
    I jokingly tell people I am ugly whenever they requested for my picture that they have no reason to actually say anything bad about those pictures even if there is.
    You can always keep people's mouth shut. You are more than your physique
    You have more things to be admired about you,
    You have inbuilt skills and talents
    Your body is just like a fence of a beautiful mansion which is the inbuilt potential.
    So why worry if they tell you how fat you are or how u need to start dieting.
    Or probably how thin you are that even the broom is thicker.
    Or how much beans you have to eat.
    Real people and friends love you beyond your flaws because they believe in the philosophy of everyone being flawless.
    Before I rap it of let me tell you about madam Lara
    How are you?” The woman smiled as she took the seat beside me. She had to lower herself slowly, squeezing her ample bottom into the seat, filling all available space.
    Positioning herself comfortably, she plopped her enormous arm on our common armrest. Her immensity saturated the space around us, shrinking me and my seat into insignificance.
    I cringed and reclined towards the window.
    She leaned towards me and repeated her greeting in an upbeat, friendly voice. Her face towered above my head, forcing me to turn to look at her. “Hi,” I replied with obvious loathing.
    I turned away to stare out the  window, sulking silently about the long hours of discomfort I was going to experience with this monster beside me.
    She nudged me with her meaty arm. “My name is Lara. I’m from Ibadan How about you? London

    “Ijebu” I barked.
    “I’m so sorry! Will you accept my heartfelt apology? Come, shake my hand. If we’re going to spend 2 hours side-by-side on this journey, we’d better be friends, don’t you think?” A palm waved in front of my face. I shook the hand reluctantly, still silent.
    Lara started a conversation with me, taking no notice of my unfriendly reactions. She talked excitedly about herself and her trip to South Africa to see her frinds. She rattled off a list of things she was going to buy for her students in the boarding school where she was teaching.
    I gave her one-word answers to her questions about me. Unperturbed by my coldness, she nodded as she made appreciative comments to my answers. Her voice was warm and caring. She was considerate and obliging when we were to buy drinks and gala, making sure that I had room to manoeuvre in my seat. “I don’t want to clobber you with my elephant size!” she said with utmost sincerity.

    To my surprise, her face which repulsed me hours before, now opened into extraordinary smiles, lively and calm at the same time. I couldn’t help but let down my guard slowly.
    Lara was an interesting conversationalist. She was well read in many subjects from philosophy to science. She turned a seemingly unimportant subject into something to explore and understand. Her comments were humorous and inspirational. When our topic turned to cultures, I was pleasantly surprised by her intelligent comments and well-thought-out analysis.
    During our conversation, Lara managed to make every passenger laughing at her jokes.

    I asked Lara, “‘Have you ever thought about losing some weight?”
    “No. I’ve worked hard to get this way. Why would I want to give it up?”
    “You aren’t worried about cardiovascular diseases that come with being overweight?”
    “Not at all. You only get the diseases if you’re worried about your weight all the time. You see advertisements from slimming centres that say, ‘Liberate yourself from your extra baggage so that you are free to be yourself.’ It’s rubbish! You’re liberated only if you’re comfortable about who you are, and what you look like any time of the day and anytime of the year! Why would I want to waste my time on slimming regimes when I have so many other important things to do and so many people to be friends with? I eat healthily and walk regularly; I’m this size because I am born to be big! There is more to life than worrying about weight all day long.”
    “Besides, God gives me so much happiness that I need a bigger body to hold all of it! Why would I lose weight to lose my happiness?” Taken aback by her reasoning, I chuckled.
    Lara continued. “Folks often see me as a fat lady with big bosoms, big thighs and a big bottom that no man would even bother to cast a glance at. They see me as a slob. They think I’m lazy and have no willpower. They’re wrong.”

    She turned to me, “I’m actually a slim person inside. I’m so full of energy that people won’t be able to keep up with me. This extra flesh is here to slow me down, otherwise I’ll be running everywhere chasing after men!”
    “Do men chase after you?” I asked jokingly.
    “Of course they do. I’m happily married but men still keep proposing to me.
    “Most of them have relationship problems and they need someone to confide in. For some reason, they like to talk to me. I think I should have been a counsellor instead of a school teacher!”

    Lara’s enthralling conversation had turned the journey into something thoroughly enjoyable. I was also fascinated by the way people were drawn to her. By the end of the flight, almost half the passenger crew was standing near the aisle by us, laughing and joking with Lara. The passengers around us joined in the merry-making too. Lara was the centre of attention, filling the bus with delightful warmth.
    When we waved goodbye to each other at the arrival lounge , I watched her walking towards a big group of adoring adults and kids. Cheers sounded as the group hugged and kissed Lara. She turned around and winked at me.
    I was stunned, as the realisation set in: Lara was the most beautiful woman I had ever met in my life.
    Dawns on you........
    Body shaming has no right of killing you emotionally
    It is not worth it..
    Read and share.

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